your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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