Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
