Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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