Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
