This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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