your parents love me but you hate me
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
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