is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
