By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
