update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
