I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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