I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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