she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Randomize
