I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
