There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
