The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
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