There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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