I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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