just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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