Capitaan dildo arrescate!
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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