she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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