Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I just want to make out with him forever
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize