I can feel you judging me through the phone.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
