you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
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