if you like me you must not know who I am
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
