used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
