I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
