But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
