Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Still dying that you shit outside
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
