I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
