I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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