My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
