please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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