Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
