Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
It's never too late to be topless.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
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