dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
