VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Randomize
