sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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