I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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