I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
