he wants to bone in the snuggie
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
