I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
