Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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