Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
its not stalking. its research.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
