Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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