Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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