I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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