OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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