you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Randomize
