No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I just want to make out with him forever
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
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