I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Randomize
