HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
So many bounce houses so little time
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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