just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
