just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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