i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
