I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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