i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
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