i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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